I stood there staring at the envelope, running my hand over it.

Brian.

I hadn’t heard from him since the day he gave me his keys. The day I drove away from him. 3 years ago.

I sent him a letter asked him to join me. I guess he didn’t want me as much as I wanted him. I should throw it away; I just can’t seem to make myself. I am finally getting over him, moving on.

Trying to... with Letty. I hurt her that night, the night I went to him. I told her I cared for her; I just wasn’t in love with her, that I had fallen in love with Brian.

Two days later the shit hit the fan. Brian was a cop; My Brian was a cop. He said he was sorry. I saw the pain in his eyes and I forgave him. I told him I loved him and he smiled at me, handed me his keys.

I should have asked him to come then. Should have dragged him, kicking and screaming if need be, with me.

My hands are shaking. I should throw it away. Letty deserves that much. She’s the one who loves me, the one that’s been there through all the crap. But I won’t, because I still dream about him.