I forgot. I can’t believe I forgot how much this hurts. You’d think since our body creates an opening just to give birth, one that will heal shut, that it would be big enough to just let the baby slide out but noooo, I have to push and squeeze my babies out.

“Your doing great Brian. I can see the head so I need a big push with the next contraction.”

“It Hurrrrttss!!!” I sob as I push.

“That’s it. That’s it, just a little more. Nurse get the suction bulb. Ok Brian another big push.”

I push and push. Finally I feel the pressure release and I slump back as my son gives out a lusty wail.

“gguhhaaahhhhh”

“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord Dom?”

“What about the next one. Are you sure I should?”

“It’ll be a couple minutes. Brian’s body will tell him when it’s time to push again. Having twins is natural Dom; people have been doing it long before modern medicine. Would you like to cut the cord?”

I watch Dom nod his head, as he watches our son wiggle on my stomach. I reach down and run my fingers over his little hand watching as his reflexes cause it to curl around one of my fingers.

“Hello Ethan, you’re so beautiful, I love you so much.” I whisper as I feel my abdomen begin tightening as the new wave of contractions that will bring his brother in to the world start.

“Oh God” I groan. “Move him!”

“Brian?” Dom asks a little confused.

“Get him off! Oh God!” I scream. Thank god the doctor seems to know what’s going on as he grabs my son just as I arch my back as a contraction stronger then anything I felt earlier rips through my body.

“eeehhhhhhhhahhhhhhhh!” I arch again. There to close together, to strong.

“Push Brian, I know it hurts, but you have to push! You can do this.” The doctor calls out to me.

“I can’t, it’s to much, make it stop.” I’m sobbing.

“You can do this, Brian. I know you can. All you have to do is push. I can see the head Brian, Push.”

I push over and over again; it feels like my skin is ripping apart. Something’s wrong Jacob isn’t coming.

“Do something!” I yell.

“Ok Brian, we’re going to use forceps to help him out ok? I need you to relax as much as possible and when I tell you to I want you to push ok?”

I nod my head and wait for the doctor to give the word. Dom is holding my hand and apologizing over and over again for getting me pregnant and causing me all this pain.

“Now on the next contraction I want you to push as hard as you can ok?”

‘uh… uuuhhhhhh!”

“good, good, I got the head Brian, just one more big push and he’ll be out.”

I’m pretty sure I have to be breaking Dom’s hand as I push again. The instant relief of pressure is wonderful as Jacob finally slides from my body. Hearing his cries makes it worth it. But there will be *NO* more. I don’t think I could survive this again.

“Let’s get everyone cleaned up and into your room.”

“I’m breast feeding, I announce as they start to roll the boys from the room. I don’t want them to give my babies a bottle. I missed this with Jade and I’m not going to miss it with them. I was lucky that Jades foster mother was a fan of breastfeeding and only lived 20 minutes from the prison. She would drive up everyday and pick up the expressed milk for the first couple months. She brought Jade to see me every weekend even though she didn’t have to. I’ll have to remember to send her a birth announcement.